Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
