Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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