I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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