dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
