Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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