I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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