do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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