she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
