No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
