This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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