I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
50% drunk capacity currently
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
