but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
