Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We left an ass print on the piano.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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