Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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