Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I still have a little drunk in my system
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
