I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize