it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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