Plan B is the new Plan A
I CAN MOONWALK!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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