the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
