Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
