I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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