i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
why is half of my head shaved?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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