Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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