well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
