Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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