I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
