some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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