found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
