how can u be prego again
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
