You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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