Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I could fuck to npr.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
