Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
