I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
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