no. you can't hotbox the world.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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