Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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