Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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