Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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