My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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