Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
