East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
