So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
