it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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