her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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