i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
