I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
