Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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