Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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