Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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