that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
