I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
