it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
