At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
