i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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