remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
