We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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