Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
