I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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