I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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