why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
