I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
