i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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