check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
