I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just had sex bonerless
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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