you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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