Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
